


Apoditic Appetency

by xuhei



Series: Triads AU [7]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M, Mafia AU, Smut, acknowledge the warning I know there is smut in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 06:11:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15966344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuhei/pseuds/xuhei
Summary: “I’m starting to think that you’re jealous,” you state, unfazed. Jongdae stops and turns to you, brows pulled together as though he’s about to start whining yet again about what you’ve said. “If you like Minseok that much just confess. I’m not going to be jealous, I’ve always considered that he might be gay.”





	Apoditic Appetency

**Author's Note:**

> this was the og mafia fic p2. I dont even think I proof read the first one, so enjoy. I am writing more as we speak, inc a bobby fic. I love ikon btw

There’s an impossibility that comes alongside hating the boy who stands next to you in the rain. Your best friend, your shoulder to cry on, but also your worst enemy in the end. The way he stands is irritating, the way he looks over you like he owns you, the way he thinks he’s the best person to exist on this earth. He’s a competitive, greasy asshole and you hate him for it.

 

Contradicting this, he loves you for how you see him as little more than what he actually is. He is competitive, greasy and more over an asshole. He does think he owns you and he believes he’s the greatest thing to walk this Earth. Moreover, he’s your best friend and he’s your shoulder to cry on and he would protect you from any rain that fell, even if it meant he got soaked to the bone too.

 

Even if he thinks you weren’t in love with him.

 

“I hate you, Kim Jongdae,” you state calmly. One of your hands is curled right around his wrist, the other holds your bag which was currently reaching a value of roughly 200,000,000₩ in case by any chance there was a bear in this forest that wished to steal it. “I fucking hate you. Why would you force me into the rain and do this to me when all you had to do was let me go with Minseok back to the hotel! We could have had this all sorted but no, Kim Jongdae is always right! Nothing anyone else is superior to his judgement - not even his hyung’s call.”

 

All that Jongdae does is hum. He doesn’t turn to you, he doesn’t hit you with any of his snarky remarks that will piss you off, but the simple hum makes you feel perfectly capable of dumping the bag and running back to the dinner party you’ve just left and accusing Jongdae of kidnap. Attempted of course.

 

“Are you not even going to answer me?!”

 

“I bet you’d enjoy all that time with Minseok. Tell me, how many times have you sucked his dick now? How much does he pay you each time too?”

 

There. That was the Kim Jongdae you knew and loved.

 

He was very emotional at heart, not that he liked to admit. To those around him, to the media outlets and especially to his victims, Kim Jongdae was a man of no violent words and silent actions. He has built up his reputation in Asia by showing he had no mercy as well as no feelings towards any.

 

Well, that was mostly true. He cared about some people and you and Minseok were a pair of them. Except right now his partner seemed to be the demon of his nightmares and the two had spent every night alone bickering about one thing or the next.

 

“Doesn’t need to pay me when I enjoy it,” you answer, solemnly.

 

“I don’t know why we haven’t used this to our advantage yet!” Jongdae shouts. He turns back to you, corners of his lips facing the ground and eyes darkened with anger. “Since you enjoy dick so much, we don’t you start sucking off the people we need to steal from so that it makes my life a whole lot easier! God, I’m a genius aren’t I?”

 

Being honest, it wasn’t such a bad idea that he had but he didn’t mean it in the best of ways. “The same genius who is making us to stand in the rain claiming to have somewhere for us to sleep tonight.”

 

Kim Jongdae and Kim Minseok, half of the famous Kim Brothers around Asia, were far from the perfection that their cousins had shining from them. Whilst Jongdae and Minseok were shoved into the ‘steals money and kills people’ side of mafia related activity, Kim Junmyeon and Kim Jongin were the angels who did the same thing, except wore suits and were the CEOs of businesses that gave them even more money.

 

Realistically speaking, Jongdae and Minseok did the dirty work to assure that Do Kyungsoo (along side Oh Sehun, Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun) or Wu Yifan (accompanied by Zhang Yixing, Huang Zitao and Lu Han) didn’t gain any power in the underground. Then there was also the threats of Kim Seokjin, but he was not one that Junmyeon or Jongin seemed to care about anymore.

 

Jongin was rightfully deemed as the seducer of all (his face would make the purest of souls give in to him) and Junmyeon was the leader due to his expertise in, well, leading things. So that left Jongdae and Minseok as the two who would infiltrate and sort out anyone who wronged their level headed cousins. It was usually Jongdae that ended up with blood on his hands though because Minseok had a touch of OCD.

 

But that was okay in the end, because you were always there to help Jongdae was the blood away. Even after you started hooking up with Minseok.

 

“Can you just shut up and walk,” Jongdae says. His tone reminds you of his nature and you’re taken back to the mindset that this is not the same boy you grew up with. It’s Chen, not Kim Jongdae. Like Minseok, Junmyeon and Jongin are Xiumin, Suho and Kai respectively.

 

“Did you want me to suck you off too?” You ask. It causes Jongdae to freeze and you immediately feel his muscles tense beneath your hand, though you don’t notice he’s not moving until you crash into his back and send him stumbling forward until his steps restart. “It was just an idea, don’t need to act so shocked. I mean, you make out that I’m such a whore anyway that I might as well just blow you so you know how to use me in the future. You do it already, making people jealous cause I’m your fiancée or whatever. Why can’t you just tie someone up and let me ride them until they shout and scream what you wanted them to say?”

 

Jongdae doesn’t turn back to you and instead starts walking at a quicker pace than before. “I don’t want you involved with people like that.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like… that! What if you’re chased down by someone who was so happy with how you went down on them and they take you away with them! I won’t see you again!” Jongdae rages, pulling you closer to him with his arm. “I mean, you’ll never see Minseok either. You can say goodbye to your chances of ever having a relationship with him.”

 

“And if I don’t want a relationship with him to begin with?” You question.

 

Jongdae doesn’t answer for a moment. He makes a noise that sounds like dissatisfaction but you’re unsure. “Then it doesn’t matter. But you two are going to end up together anyway.”

 

“You sound so sure,” you comment softly. “About as sure as you were when you told me that Taemin and I were going to work out too. Are you like, psychic when it comes to relationships or something?”

 

“To be quite honest, I think I just know you pretty well. Minseok loves himself like Taemin did so you’ll like it at first then get sick of it. I’ve heard it all before.”

 

Another problem with being best friends with Jongdae was that he knew you well. No, scrap that - he knew you better than you knew yourself. Which is probably the reason he started asking you for help here and there with his jobs that weren’t too dangerous. At first it started out that you’d wait in the driver’s seat of his blacked out Benz, but it didn’t take Jongdae long to notice that you were a pretty terrible getaway driver because of the fact you stalled the car too much, so he (effectively) demoted you to someone who would accompany him to events and make sure he didn’t get poisoned by anyone.

 

People have tried to kill him, which was a little concerning. The first time you noticed it was when a man behind the bar slipped something into his drink, then the second was something similar to that, and the third, fourth and so on. You were pretty soon aware that people did not like Kim Jongdae, and that wasn’t just because he was competitive, greasy and an asshole. Sometimes you’d really just wished you’d have let them do it, tonight was an example.

 

“I’m starting to think that you’re jealous,” you state, unfazed. Jongdae stops and turns to you, brows pulled together as though he’s about to start whining yet again about what you’ve said. “If you like Minseok that much just confess. I’m not going to be jealous, I’ve always considered that he might be gay.”

 

Jongdae scowls. “You think I’m gay!?”

 

“No, but what would be the matter if you were?”

 

“Nothing would be the matter. I just don’t like a guy, alright? Minseok and I are friends. Just like you and… Like you and Minjae,” Jongdae answers. He sighs, looking up to the sky and letting a few of the rain drops fall onto his face before he looks back at you and sighs again. “I’m sorry for getting lost, and for using you to store what we stole and for making you follow me instead of Minseok. You’d be safer with him, I know, but I wanted you with me in case he tried to do anything with you. Just cause he’s my partner and my friend doesn’t mean that I trust him with you, especially when you’ve got two hundred million on you and you look like that. He’s still Xiumin.”

 

The slight breeze in the air blows your dress back against your legs following Jongdae’s words, making you shiver a little. It was almost instinctual for you to grasp onto Jongdae’s arm and snuggle against it like a pillow to protect your body from the cold. “Eh, it’s fine. I prefer you to sleep with anyway.”

 

“Oh..?”

 

“I meant normal sleeping, Jongdae, not having sex with.”

 

“Right, I know,” Jongdae mumbles, “but… what about sex? Am I better than him?”

 

You look to you left and hum as though you’re thinking about the question he’s given you. “Well, you both have strengths and weaknesses. I’d have to make a proper assessment about that one.”

 

As well as your friendship being strong and based on hatred, it was also messy. Messy as in chaotic and built on strange feelings you both had for each other. Maybe you did have a crush on Jongdae from when you were both seven and he looked so nice in this glasses he had to start wearing. Maybe he did have a crush on you from aged seven because he’d never seen someone so unbelievably beautiful as you.

 

Now, however, it was just fucked up. You weren’t sure if he still has feelings for you, you weren’t even sure if you had feelings for him. All of it just lead to one night after far too many drinks celebrating the fact that Park Chanyeol lost a shit tonne of money and was demoted by Do Kyungsoo. Jongdae said you looked hot - 'like, hot enough that I want you to ride me until I can’t cum anymore - and ten minutes later he was crawling between your legs and eating you out better than any one else could.

 

To this day no one has done it better than him.

 

“Minseok thinks about himself too much but he knows how to make you not walk again for the next week. You on the other hand are the biggest fucking tease in the world.”

 

Jongdae smiles widely, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “…but?”

 

“But nothing! I’m not discussing this with you outside in the rain when I feel like shit and it’s cold! Get me inside and I’ll tell you more, but not here.”

 

Begrudgingly, Jongdae nods and turns back in the direction he was originally planning on going in. He looks a little disappointed with his shoulders slumped but again, this was his fault. The reason the two of you weren’t inside sipping on some champagne was because he insisted he knew what to do.

 

“Asshole,” you mumble under your breath, following your thoughts.

 

“Eh? Me?” Jongdae says. He keeps walking but you can hear him mumbling to himself as he walks. Something about not being satisfied with the way you were talking; he spoke in another one of his thousand languages he learned over the years that you picked up the very basics of. “If I was an asshole then I wouldn’t have been able to find… this!”

 

Unbeknownst to you the house he has spoken of all this time was right in front of you, but you’d had your face down and you’d just been clinging onto Jongdae’s arm this entire time so you didn’t have to exert any extra effort. “Pretty sure you can still be an asshole if you’re not stupid.”

 

“Hey, future Mrs. Kim, would you please appreciate your fiancé and his genius?” Jongdae says. He looks to you with such a cocky smile that you wish to punch him.

 

But if you did Junmyeon would be on your case, and as lovely as that boy was, getting on his bad side was not something you wished to do for a long, long time. Punching him in the face could cause you a lot of trouble in the future.

 

So you don’t answer and instead take a deep breath, glaring at Jongdae until he pulls the keys from his pocket and drags you towards the chalet style building that he seemed to fond of. It looked pretty nice from the outside, there was simple decorations and you liked the twist that the dim lights around the door made.

 

“Jongin said to come back here if ever we were in trouble and there’s enough stuff to keep us going for a few days,” Jongdae states. He moves his hand to curl around yours and smiles genuinely for once. “Tomorrow I’ll call Minseok to pick us up and we can drop of this money in Macau, get paid and… I don’t know. Do you want to go to Paris?”

 

“Paris?”

 

“That’s what I said,” Jongdae tells you. “I feel like Paris would be a good idea, then we can experience what it’s like to actually like to be alone for some time.”

 

It was a nice idea, you would admit. The thought of being alone for some time (for real, not just a day without Jongin bothering you) sounded good. “Well, I guess.”

 

“I’ll even ask Minseok if he wants to come.”

 

“You really don’t have to,” you tell Jongdae. You don’t speak again until you are both standing under the door to Jongin’s getaway location, mostly because you were imagining a trip with Jongdae to Paris. It wouldn’t be half bad. “If you want to go to Paris then I’ll go with you.”

 

“You would?”

 

The look of excitement in his face is completely unchallenged by anything else you’ve seen before. The best thing about it was that, no, you weren’t lying - you’d happily go. You could almost imagine what it would be like there, and it was giving some really intense boyfriend vibes from Jongdae.

 

The worst thing about that was that you liked the idea of it.

 

Things were pretty much silent as he lead you into the house. It reminded you very much of Jongin, with the lavish decorations that filled the walls and the warm carpet beneath your feet that made everything feel so homely. It couldn’t be more Jongin unless there was a room specifically for poker to be played or twenty Swiss bank accounts to hide the nature of the Kim’s true wealth.

 

“I’m going to bed,” you state, looking past Jongdae and over to the corridor that you were sure led to a bedroom somewhere. “If you urgently need me then please knock before you come in. I have to make sure I don’t die of hypothermia.”

 

Jongdae only nods. He remains silent until you reach the corridor, placing your hand on the first door handle. “Next one. I’ve claimed that room.”

 

“Sorry Chen,” you answer with a groan.

 

It’s quite surprising when you walk into the room, though. You’d half expected Jongdae to give you the half assed room with a broken bed that was barely able to be slept on. But it’s not, it’s basically the main bedroom.

 

Expect this joke belongs to Kai and you’re sure he would have decorated everything to seem top standard. He could afford it, after all. The queen sized bed and its coloured sheets with extra big pillows and a black throw made you want to sleep at the first sight of all the objects.

 

You just sit on the side of the bed and pull your phone out from your bag, avoiding the objects that were worth more than anything you could give and then placing your back to the side. No texts from Minseok, that was not a surprise. The only strange thing was an anonymous text with an address that you were sure Suho had sent in case Jongdae didn’t have the right address. It was one in Macau, yours and Jongdae’s drop off point.

 

“Weird question,” Jongdae announces. You look up from your phone and furrow your brows, watching Jongdae’s frame in the doorway. He did look exhausted; no surprise since he’d been awake since two am yesterday morning planning all of this. “Is your offer still on the table?”

 

Your movements are null as you think back to what you’ve said already tonight. “Offer for what?”

 

“Well, you know… Uh, you said you would—you could… suckmeoff.”

 

The feared Kim Jongdae looked almost scared about asking you, his shaky and rushed words leaving him a little flustered. Though you didn’t take your eyes off his, he would probably realise you were going to have some fun with this judging by the smirk laying on your lips right now.

 

“I don’t know, Dae,” you mumble. The look of disappointment in his eyes is unmatched. “You’ll have to ask a bit better than that.”

 

Jongdae takes a deep breath and nods, swallowing all of his anxiety away harshly. “I really want you to give me a blow job.”

 

“Doesn’t that seem a little biased? What do I get out of it?”

 

“I’ll eat you out afterwards.”

 

“Deal,” you answer immediately, smile flourished on your lips at his words. “Next time don’t ask so nervous about it. You’re not asking me to kill someone.”

 

Jongdae nods quickly, stepping into the room and shutting your door behind him. His black jeans look a little tight and the shirt he was wearing has been untucked, it’s silk hanging loosely over Jongdae’s body. He still wore the same rings and shoes from earlier, and judging by his brows that were pulled together and his nervous movements, he’d been thinking about this for a while. Possibly since you offered.

 

But he just sits down next to you on the bed and looks over to you with wide eyes. There’s a hint of innocence but you have to ignore it. Would it be so wrong to kiss him?

 

“How do you want to do this?” Jongdae asks.

 

“Just lay back,” you tell him softly. There has been times before you’ve wanted to kiss him and there was times you wanted to throw him under a bus, which is why it was so wrong now. He asked you to suck his dick, not kiss him. “I know what you like.”

 

Jongdae follows instructions so well. He scrambles back to the head of the bed and leans his head back against the pillows, keeping him slightly propped up in the case that he needed to see your face. The slightly paced rise and fall of his chest matched your own, and Jongdae was the first to pick up on it.

 

“Is there a problem?” His voice sounded much more aggressive than he meant it to be. It was like the way he spoke to his men when ordering them around. He didn’t think much more of this than what it was at face value. “I-I mean, if you’re worried about Minseok finding out, I won’t tell him.”

 

You raise a brow cautiously. “Why would it matter if he found out?”

 

“You two get together quite often, I’m just assuming it will come to be something more in the future.”

 

“No.” Your reply comes with a shake of your head that surprises Jongdae. “Minseok and I aren’t dating and never will. Where do you get these ideas from?”

 

Jongdae feigns his composed nature, but it fails the moment you touch his thigh and trail your hands closer to his zipper. You can feel him through the thick material but don’t comment, instead reaching for his belt which is undone rather slowly. The noise of the leather scrapping against the metal is like music to your ears. A distraction from everything for a while. No completely evil best friend that you suddenly had an overwhelming desire to kiss.

 

No, it was not sudden. You’d had it before. When Jongdae would sling his arm around your waist and tell everyone the made up story of how he proposed, when he would smile so softly at you from across the room and especially when he noticed that people suspected you of stealing that two hundred million and dragged out of there like his life depended on it. But it wasn’t because you were in danger. You had two hundred million won on you.

 

“Why do you care, anyway?”

 

Jongdae looks up from where your hands are resting and frowns. “About what?”

 

“About Minseok and I. Why do you care? I’m just here to make sure you don’t die, it shouldn’t matter what guy I’m with.”

 

“You’re right. It shouldn’t matter.” Jongdae sits up a little so he’s further away from you than before. He just sighs, looking over at the shut door with a solemn expression. “But it does matter. You’re more to me than just an asset like everyone else is. You’re my—”

 

Jongdae doesn’t finish his sentence because you don’t want to hear the end of it. You don’t need him to tell you what you were to each other, you just wanted to finish this so that all your thoughts would go away. Instead he lets out a strangled moan when you squeeze him through his jeans, completely unsuspecting of your actions.

 

“You’re better than Minseok,” you tell Jongdae. He might not be listening but it was a great opportunity to say what you wanted. Whilst he was completely distracted by your delicate touches you could begin to think about something else. “Since you asked earlier. Use it against him and ruin his super sized ego.”

 

Jongdae might not have heard you again. It wasn’t a big deal, but it certainly made you feel happier knowing he might have heard you as you reached for the elastic of his boxers that was now visible through his opened zipper.

 

Jongdae’s eyes bore into you from above as your fingers brush his skin. Each of your movements are extended and he feels like you’re trying to tease him for every shitty thing he’s ever done in his life. When you finally, after what seems like decades, reach him and wrap your fingers around his already hard length, Jongdae’s posture is no longer frozen. His head falls back against the pillows again and his moan is glorious. 

 

He must have been thinking about this since he mentioned it, judging on Jongdae’s actions alone. He doesn’t even look down at you, not that you think he actually can right now, so you don’t waste any time in actually giving him what he wanted to start with.

 

“Fuck,” is all he says when he feels your lips on his cock. It seems to echo around the room, but it’s satisfying none the less. As you take more of him into your mouth one of his hands takes through your hair and his nails scrape against your scalp.

 

You can almost feel the vibrations running through his chest when his tip hits the back of your throat. Jongdae whines, he wants more that you can’t give him, but when your tongue begins to move around his length, the hand in your hair pushes you a little and his nails dig deeper into your skin.

 

You finally move your head up a little, bobbing back down after a few seconds so he hits the back of your throat again. The taste of his precum has you encouraged to get him to cum even quicker now. You glance up to him and notice his other hand twisted in the sheets to his side as he tries to stop himself moaning too loudly at the contact you’re making.

 

“Don’t stop,” Jongdae says. He’s almost gasping for air between his loud cries of your name and occasionally moaning from how you are making him feel. He sighs as you take your lips off of him, blowing gently on his throbbing tip. Jongdae opens his eyes abruptly, glaring at you as his breathing stays heavy. “I said not to stop.”

 

Your first instinct is to mumble and apology but you don’t want to - not with Jongdae’s shown weakness from before. He said you weren’t an asset so you wouldn’t be treated like one. “Do you want to cum or not?”

 

“You don’t decide that,” Jongdae answers. He tightens his grip on your hair, narrowing his eyes as his thighs tense beneath you. “Baby, I want more than anything to cum because of you.”

 

You hum, offering a smile as you dig your thumb slightly into his tip and let your tongue follow, swiping it across his head until he whimpers again beneath you in an attempt to suppress the full moan that was meant to come. “In my mouth?”

 

“In your mouth,” Jongdae confirms.

 

You bend your head down and take his tip between your lips, then you move your head down until he’s almost fully in your mouth once more. Jongdae’s breathing hitches in his throats with the pressure and he grasps your hair harder than before, bucking his hips into you.

 

Seeing him so lost in bliss is mesmerising. He’s always so tense, wandering in his workload so that you don’t get to see him like this. It’s something you wish to capture and cherish forever but you’re reminded of the trip to Paris he wanted and you think that this can happen more there. Chen can be Kim Jongdae for longer.

 

“B-Baby—!” Jongdae whines, bucking his hips again. He squeezes his eyes shut and his hand in the mattress moves to cover your own that’s at his base. He tries his best to get you to jerk him at the same time and it works !because within seconds you’re doing exactly what he wants. “I’m gonna cum.”

 

His statement follows with him finishing finally with a call of your name, his milky white seed hitting the back of your throat in a continuous burst. You swallow it contently, then are free to move when Jongdae’s hands move from various parts of your body.

 

His eyes are just shut and his breathing is uneven following his climax. You sit back on your knees, watching over him like the typical guardian angel pose you always took. It was nice to see him without worry capitulated in his irises like always; it was better to think that the only thing on his mind was…you.

 

The plan you’d set in your mind was to leave before Jongdae could live up to his side of the deal. Sure, it would have been great to have him all over you but since it was your job to keep him well and healthy for the other Kim brothers, you’d have to compromise. Plus you could imagine that if Jongdae came near you he’d only be whining about something - don’t pull my hair there, be louder, keep your hips still.

 

You almost make it away from him, too. Just as you’re attempting to climb over one of his legs that you’re between, Jongdae’s hand catches your arm and you expect so see that awful look in his eyes when you glance back at him. But his eyes aren’t open. He has a slightly smile on his lips as he stops you from walking away.

 

“We’re not done,” he states with a voice so calm you almost forget that his cock is still soft on his boxers where you had literally just left him.

 

“We’re not?”

 

“No,” Jongdae states. He opens one eye, glancing down at his pelvis before tucking himself back into his boxers and then returning his attention to you once more. “Did we not make a deal?”

 

You only hum. One thing you despised about Jongdae was his incessant need to stick with everything he ever said. If he told you he was going to eat you out he was going to eat you out - just like if he told you he’d kill you, he would most definitely kill you. “Sorry.”

 

When you were both younger Jongdae had promised he wouldn’t let anything happen to you. That was following your break up with some guy when you were fourteen but he still meant it. He’d kept his word about that until then. Even further back he’d told you that one day he would marry you and you like to think that maybe he’d keep that promise too, since every guy you ever met was not like your best friend that you hated who wore shining armour and came to your rescue all the time.

 

“Why so solemn all of a sudden?” Jongdae asks. He sits up slightly and cocks his head to the side.

 

“Why the exaggerated use of sibilance?” You answer, shrugging your shoulders. “It almost makes it seem like you care.”

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes and tugs on your arm that he’s still clutching onto so tightly. “Why’d you apologise to me?”

 

“Can you stop questioning my actions?”

 

“You started it!” Jongdae retaliates rather coldly. He takes his hand away from you and narrows his eyes slightly, then notices something. He sighs, shaking his head and reaching for your hand that you’re happy to give him. He holds your fingers loosely yet it makes you feel protected. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t.”

 

You shake your head, letting your body be slowly drawn to Jongdae’s. He’s sitting up now, the heat from his body hitting every pore. “It’s not that I don’t want you to. I just think that you should, you know, rest. We have to get all of the money over to Macau tomorrow and I don’t think that’s going to be an easy job. You’re tired and need to sleep.”

 

“I’m not—”

 

Jongdae stops himself. He looks up to you with sorrowful eyes and just stares. You’re lost, for a moment, just until his arms wrap around you and he pulls you into his chest to hold you gently. “You don’t have to worry about me, if I thought anything was a risk to my life or yours I wouldn’t do it. Soon to be Mrs. Kim can’t have anything happen to her.”

 

“I’m not your fiancée, Jongdae. I’m Chen’s made up fiancée that makes sure you don’t die. I’m making sure you don’t die right now, if you sleep now there’s less chance of you being pulled up at the airport.”

 

“You think sleep is my main distraction?” Jongdae asks. He almost bitterly laughs at your words but resists the chance to make himself seem colder. “I wish I cared about myself that much. Do you realise how little I actually care what happens to me?”

 

There’s a silence that looms around the room between the two of you staring at each other. Jongdae’s light breathing reminds you about how real of this actually is. “I care about you enough for the both of us. I wouldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you…”

 

Jongdae’s lips quiver a little. It’s barely noticeable and you only tell because you’re staring at them like they’re the holy grail. You cared for Jongdae more than he would ever realise, more than you had ever even known before.

 

Your thoughts are all dispersed when the very lips you’d been longing for secretly touch yours. You were so lost in your ponders over Jongdae this and Jongdae that, that you hadn’t even notice him getting closer to you. But it was soft. Ever so soft.

 

You were sure that no one had kissed you like this before, no one had taken the time to fully embrace your lips like this. Jongdae was being so careful that if your heart wasn’t racing because of the boy who promised to marry you aged seven, then you might have thought he was trying to poison you.

 

He did, though. Jongdae poisoned all of your thoughts and actions so that they could only be directed to him. You were numb to all expect his zephyr-like kiss that blew everything negative from your mind; past, present and future.

 

You didn’t want him to move away, though when he placed his fingertips delicately to your cheek you knew it was coming. It was just a kiss but it meant so much more. You’d never felt emotion like that with Jongdae before. No level of understand like you just felt.

 

Yet you felt compelled to revert back to what you were originally saying at Jongdae looked at you as though you neared the image of Athens in your eyes. You kissed him, like you wanted to, and you needed to do something so you didn’t kiss him again. “…especially not with Suho and Kai! They’d feed me to starving dogs if I lost their favourite brother.”

 

“That’s all you’re going to say?” Jongdae asks. There’s humour in his voice and it makes you far more compelled to open up to him.

 

“I’m just saying it how it is!” You answer. Your lips are curled into a smile and when Jongdae notices, he copies the look on your face. His cheeks are slightly red, his eyebrows aren’t furrowed any longer and he doesn’t look so sinful anymore. It brings a warm feeling to your heart like when he’d told you’d he’d protect you. “You’re the first person to kiss me like that. I don’t really know much else to say but thank you.”

 

Jongdae frowns almost immediately. “You’re thanking me for kissing you?”

 

“For kissing me like you meant it,” you mumble.

 

Immediately you feel Jongdae’s hand on your waist that had somehow gone unnoticed to you tense on your clothed skin. “I did mean it. Of course I meant it. I’ve always wanted to treat you like you deserve but it’s…hard when it comes to you. I’ll always be there for you, you know that, but you’ve always seen me as a best friend who meant it in an brotherly way, not an 'I still want to keep my promise of marrying you’ way.”

 

“You remember that?”

 

“Of course I do,” Jongdae answers. He licks his lips in excitement and straightens his back to recite his words. “I’m going to marry you, (y/n), because you are the most beautiful person I have ever met and will ever meet! We are going to live far, far away from everyone else and own ten dogs and have the best family to ever exist. We’ll have a big swimming pool and twenty bedrooms and we can make Park Chanyeol our servant who has to do everything for us!”

 

You can’t help the blush that covers your face at his words. He remembered them exactly. Down to a t. It really was a reality check – Jongdae wasn’t Chen, he was just Jongdae to you. “Seven year old you had everything sorted for life.”

 

“And twenty four year old me is saying that things shouldn’t change.” Jongdae takes his hand from your cheek and instead laces it with his own, teeth sinking into his lips as he looks over you. “Of course I want to add somethings. I’m sure you want some other things, too. I’m not saying let’s get married but I’m saying that ever since I told you that I’ve felt the same way. I guess I hoped that you always felt the same way when you told you that you’d say yes if I asked you.”

 

“Will Park Chanyeol still be our servant?” You ask. You’re too distracted by your own laughing to notice Jongdae pulling you into his chest again. He just holds you against him and squeezes you tight until he might just suffocate you.

 

He lays back down with you still in his arms, shutting his eyes as he lays his head back against the pillows and takes a deep breath. “If you want him to be, then I’ll make it happen. Byun Baekhyun, too?”

 

“Every one of our enemies. I don’t want them to pose a threat you or your happiness anymore,” you answer. You feel so relaxed, resting against his chest and hearing the steady heartbeat from within.

 

“Maybe it would be best to move to that house far away from everyone else,” Jongdae admits. His chest rumbles beneath you as he laughs to himself. The level of completeness you felt was apoditic. “If you were wondering — this is why I care so much about you and Minseok. I don’t want to lose you to him.”

 

You nod humbly. You had a feeling of jealous run through you when you’d see Jongdae with other people who could be better to him than you. It hurt. You knew it hurt him to hear you’d been with Minseok, so you wouldn’t do it again. “If you were wondering, I still feel the same way as when I said yes to you before.”


End file.
